The best thing anyone ever said to me was spoken by a young woman I was training as a server and bartender. I was running my first solo bar consultation project, where I pulled shifts behind the bar on Saturday nights to help train the new staff. The young woman informed me a guest was making her feel uncomfortable. I asked if she wanted me to have him escorted out, and when she declined, I offered to take over the table. She thought for a moment, and then responded, “No, I’ll take care of it. As long as you’re here, I know everything’s going to be OK.”
A few years earlier, while I was waiting tables at a high-end restaurant, one guest who was notorious for trying to order alcohol without an I.D., walked in and sat in my section. Before approaching him, I immediately informed my general manager of his prior, belligerent antics at the other restaurants where I also bar-tended, which included pushing a female server.
“Do you want me to ask him to leave?” she asked, in all seriousness.
I was a bit taken aback. Our restaurant was very high profile, and I’d never seen our management kick anyone out.
“No …” I trailed off, pausing for a bit to mull over my newfound and unexpected sense of safety. “I’ll handle it.”
“OK,” she said, and touched my arm reassuringly. “If he gives you any trouble, come get me, and I’ll take the table.” It was such a power move. I broke into a grateful smile, thanked her and handled the difficult table, and rest of the evening, with all the confidence and effortlessness that comes with knowing your boss trusts you and has your back.
The following year I watched that same manager herself be put in a compromising position for reasons that were not her fault, nor within her control. The integrity and grace with which she conducted herself, despite her own pain and humiliation, was one of the bravest things I have ever seen, and she has remained a role model for me to this day, yet because of the sensitivity of the situation, I was never able to tell her just how much I admired her.
They say you should never meet your heroes. I hate that statement. If we should never meet our heroes, we need to choose better heroes. When I realized I had been idolizing the wrong people for the wrong reasons, it opened my eyes to all the unsung heroes all around me, who quietly, and daily, exemplified all of the integrity, transparency, inclusivity, compassion, communication, generosity and emotional intelligence that I myself strive to embody. They did it, not for accolades, but simply because it was the right thing to do. And though teaching has always been an integral component of my career, when I realized those who look up to you are watching you just as much when you’re not looking, as they are when you’re actively instructing, the responsibility of teaching went from being a job description to a standard by which to live life.
This year, all I want for Christmas is to continue to be, for those I love, the reason they will always know that everything will be OK.
As the temperature cools down to a brisk 71 degrees, the holiday lights go up around downtown, and you fill your hearts with ways to bring feelings of both joy and safety to those you hold dear, may you simultaneously warm your belly with the gingery spice of this festive, local twist on the classic Moscow Mule cocktail.
Merry Mule
1.5 ounces Koolau Distillers Old Pali Road whiskey
0.5 ounces Nux Alpina walnut liqueur
1 ounce fresh-pressed Fuji apple juice
0.75 ounces fresh-pressed lemon juice
0.25 ounces apricot preserves
Directions:
Shake all ingredients, except Fever Tree ginger beer, over ice. Add Fever Tree ginger beer to shaker tin and strain over fresh rocks into a mule mug or double old fashioned glass.
Garnish with mint sprigs, skewered fresh cranberries and cinnamon stick.
Alicia Yamachika is a bartender and craft mixologist, who currently is the key account manager at Southern Glazer’s Wine & Spirits on Oahu. Follow her on Instagram (@alicia_ yamachika). Her column will appear every second Wednesday in Crave.
